The light-hearted way to destroy the fear of failure that keeps you stuck…in ten minutes.
This article is perfect - if you’re itching to move forward but the only thing you see ahead is FAIL in flashing neon. We need to first move you one step away from feeling “stuck” and see where that takes you.
Let’s go.
The universal feeling of stuck….
So many of my clients (professionals in their 40s, 50s and 60s) feel like they’ve hit a wall—well, not just a wall, but a fortress of doing nothing different.
I’m familiar with this fortress of stuckness…
I once spent two years reverse-parked in the same job, daydreaming about doing something else, while getting absolutely nowhere and doing absolutely nothing differently.
It’s funny, isn’t it? The longer you stay stuck, the scarier it feels to do anything different?
Before you know it, making a change feels like climbing to Maccu Picchu in fluffy flip-flops.
Your brain kicks in with all-or-nothing thinking, backed by a delightful chorus of “but what if I fail?”
You can hear nothing but whispers like:
"I’d totally try that... if I knew it would work."
"What’s the point? It’s doomed to fail."
“It’ll never work - why bother?”
"I’ll just wait here for the perfect [foolproof] idea—something that’s guaranteed to work."
"Maybe I don't even want this anymore?" (Yes, your brain will second-guess you to the core.)
"What will they think if I mess this up?" (Insert your favorite person here—parents, spouse, coworkers, dog.)
Suddenly, trying something new seems nothing short of ludicrous!
The fear of failure builds up, and your brain kindly suggests that the safest course of action is...to do absolutely nothing. Nada. Zilch.
And the dream of doing work that feels great slowly drifts away.
When you have a dream of doing work that feels great but fear stops you moving towards it, the dream blows into the wind.
You miss opportunities. You stay stuck waiting for the “right” time. The dream floats beyond reach.
There is an alternative
There’s a way out of this fear-filled fortress!
You can train your brain to not panic at the thought of change—or even (gasp) failure.
Here’s how.
I warn you this is going to sound too simple. But keep reading to the end.
All you have to do is...do tiny little experiments every day to give your brain EVIDENCE that change is not painful.
It all starts with getting comfortable with teeny, tiny steps. I’m talking minuscule. Micro. So small they almost feel silly.
And trust me, the sillier, the better.
What?! Teeny tiny experiments every day. Why?
Because these little acts of “trying something new” show your brain that change isn’t the beast you’ve made it out to be.
You need proof that trying new things can be fun, momentary, maybe even a bit ridiculous, and—most critically—not life-threatening.
Your brain needs proof that change doesn’t need to attack your ego, your status amongst your peers, your family position or your financial situation.
Once your brain has enough evidence that this is the truth, your fear of failure decreases enormously.
Eye-Rolling Ahead: But Stick With Me
I know, I know—you might be tempted to roll your eyes at this. You might be thinking, “I’m a grown adult with serious responsibilities and a lifetime of experience. Am I really going to stand on one foot while reading?”
Yes. Yes, you are.
And here’s why: these silly little experiments will start rewiring your brain’s relationship with failure.
You’ll see that trying something new doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing, do-or-die situation. It can be light, quick, and even fun.
Releasing little experiments into the world daily is transformational.
It tells your brain that experiments are ok. In fact, they can be kind of fun. And you don’t often put fear and fun in the same basket.
Ready to destroy your fear of failure? Start with these super simple experiments.
If you’re feeling very fearful of failure, start here with these bite-sized experiments—no need to even leave the house:
Brushing your teeth: Do three squats before you start and three after you finish. Bonus challenge: use your non-dominant hand.
Drinking a hot drink: Before you sip, touch your toes twice.
Sitting down: Before you sit, take a big breath, hold it for 3 seconds, exhale slowly... then sit down.
Watching TV: Use your opposite hand to control the remote. And, just for fun, twirl before sitting down—like the champion of your own sofa.
Putting shoes on: Touch your opposite ears before you slip on each shoe. Or just put on the “wrong” shoe first.
Phone calls: Actually use your phone... as a phone. Call an old friend unprompted and leave a message, no texting allowed.
Watch wearing: Wear it on the “wrong” wrist for 5 minutes.
For the more adventurous
If you’re ready to take it up a notch, try experimenting at work:
Meetings: Stand up during your next Zoom/Teams call. If you’re usually the first to speak, hold back and be the last. Or vice verse. Smile broadly if you don’t normally offer the big full-watt smile. Growl quietly - see if anyone notices.
Brain power: Turn off all notifications for one day and see what happens. Spoiler alert: the world won’t end.
Influence: Read a completely different newspaper than usual. You might be surprised by what you learn.
Coffee: Order something totally different. Flat white fanatic? Go for an espresso. Or get wild with an oat milk macchiato.
Affection: Leave a handwritten note for someone you love. A post-it, a card, anything that says, “Hey, you’re awesome.”
Small Steps, Big Change
I promise—once you get into the habit of these small experiments, something clicks. You stop seeing failure as the monster in the closet. You’ll start thinking of it as part of the process. A naturial part of your day. Sometimes the best part of average days.
Before you know it, you’ll be making bigger moves, taking more calculated risks, and maybe even enjoying the ride.
After all, you’ve already proven to yourself that change isn’t nearly as scary as you thought.
And if you’re still eye-rolling by this point, well...maybe I’m not for you? I do serious work…but not always seriously. This particular experimental philosophy has nearly destroyed every remnant of fear of failure I possess.
This experimentalism has changed my life and career for the better.
Need proof? Here’s a long list of just some of my experiments.
Crumbs of my fear of failure friend still remain.
When I do big things that are WAY out of my comfort zone (like my Tedx talk in 2022) I still have to work bloody hard at feeling light and experimental.
Here’s a running list of some of the more fun experiements I’ve conducted over the last 8/9 years. When I scan through the list when I update it every six months, I’m always astounded at what was possible. And therefore what is possible in my future.
But if any of this has resonated with you, I’d love to have you join me in one of my career design programmes — where I help people just like you to redesign their work with joy built-in. So that they can do work that they deeply enjoy, for as long as they choose to work.
Don’t forget to email me and let me know how your experiments go!
