Is your job sucking the life out of your life? A 3 minute exercise that could change your future, this week.
It’s great to feel valued in your company. But what happens when you are giving up time with family, friends and downtime, to feel valued at work?
Older and wiser?
Last year, a friend’s husband joined a very young technology company. He is the most experienced employee in the company (yup - I mean oldest!), and the only employee with enough technical experience, to troubleshoot the plethora of problems being thrown at them on a daily basis.
Coincidentally, he is the only employee over the age of 40.
The twenty-somethings have amazing skills, but not enough experience to see the bigger picture and anticipate potential problems.
So what?
He therefore carries an overnight bag with him to the office every day. He’s ready to jump on a plane any time a problem is too big for the talented youth to deal with. This month, he took at least one emergency (totally unplanned) plane rides across Europe…each week. Yes, one trip each week!
Again, so what?
As his company lurches from one emergency to the next, his wife and children are getting lonely, and perhaps just a little used to operating without him, even at the weekend.
Worse still, when he does get home, he is so exhausted that he struggles to have the energy to have much fun with his family.
This is the reality of life for us all, some of the time. But if this kind of work relationship extends more than a few months, it can suck the life out of our real lives and trigger burnout.
The example above is extreme due to the young entrepreneurial nature of that business, but there are definitely more mature businesses that continually suck the life out of our lives outside work.
This is fine… if work is your raison d’etre.
Ok - so work is sucking some of the life out of your life? It’s time to try something different…cue “the one thing” exercise.
“The One thing” exercise
If you’d rather be spending your free time climbing a mountain, riding your bike, volunteering for your favourite charity, cuddling your young kids, taking your older kids to an Ed Sheeran concert or... dancing naked in the sun, it’s about time you asked yourself one question...
What is the ONE thing that you WILL be doing a great deal more of in ten years, that you just don’t have enough time to do now?
Write it down on a piece of paper and put it in your inside pocket, in your laptop bag, on your bathroom mirror or beside your phone charger. Somewhere where you will see it many times over the next few days
Then just let your subconscious absorb it…play with it while you sleep, while you work, while you shower, whenever and wherever
Here's are some of the “one things” from my Big Rethink Programme I have come up with over the last few months. (Forgive my hand writing)
Some of the results from “The one thing” exercise I ask my clients to do at the beginning of one of my design programmes.
Over the next week or so, if you have chosen a place where you will see and touch this piece of paper regularly (which should be getting pretty scrappy by then), some things will happen:
You might find yourself thinking about your future more often
You might find yourself thinking about your present situation more often
You might even find that you have discussed, planned, or actually done a little more of the activity that you wrote down on that scrap of paper. If you haven’t, don’t worry, but keep going. You are just very stuck in your busy work pattern. Make sure you place the piece of paper somewhere where you touch it multiple times a day
Wake up moments
Here’s the crunch…
Asking yourself what one thing would you like more of, is a great way to narrow your focus.
Very few of us have taken the time to narrow down what we REALLY WANT in life, so it’s bloody hard to make decisions that allow us to create our ideal future…or even our good enough future.
What often happens is that you ‘wake up’ having wasted a few years. During which, your company has been at the helm of your entire life, instead of just your working life.
You've booked your holidays around quieter times at work
You've missed nights out with your partner due to prioritising something at work
You've missed all your planned exercise slots for more than a week…again
You've also not been much fun at the weekend because you’re totally knackered from your work week
This very basic handwritten “note-to-self” exercise, over a week or two, will give you some insight into how your life’s auto-pilot often doesn’t take into consideration your longer term goals.
By choosing to define one very specific long-term goal, to spend more time on X, you’ll focus on making time for X (both consciously and subconsciously), in the present, which can transform your future.
What will you choose to focus your mind on this week?
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