Designing an midlife exit plan - when all you want to do is press the “eject!” button (Dara's Story)
Dara couldn’t put a finger on exactly when the change had happened.
He’d reached his early fifties. And he’d been struggling with motivation for quite a while - years maybe?
But motivated or unmotivated, he still needed to perform his busy and demanding role as Finance Director in a privately-owned technology business.
He knew he needed something different.
But what?
He couldn’t afford a childish leap of faith. He couldn’t quit without a plan - he had a mortgage and family to support.
No, he needed to figure out the right plan.
Most midlifers in their 40s, 50s or 60s can’t afford childish leaps of faith - even though we might often dream of hitting the eject button. Instead, at Midlife Unstuck, we take a little more time to figure out the core problems, learn the career design skills and then experimentally put them into action to then design a great plan.
But how?
Despite intense and daily consideration, he remained foggy and fearful about his potential next steps.
He couldn't get his early thoughts in a straight enough line to form a clear plan, alone.
Then a mutual friend commented on one of Lucia's Linked-in posts that resonated deeply. At last, someone truly understood his situation.
Dara booked in for one of Lucia’s free half-hour career chats - thinking he had nothing to lose.
During that conversation, he explaining his career journey to date and shared how if felt to feel so stuck.
He became so determined to take control of his future work happiness, he decided to join The Fierce Emporium to learn precisely how.
Discovering the crux of the problem
Discovering what was at the heart of “the work-problem” mean’t that paths forward became clearer.
During the early learning phase, Dara figured out that a mis-allignment of values between himself and his company was at the heart of the work problem.
This simple, yet critical, understanding allowed him to begin to chart a path towards change - but not overnight. He wanted to do this right.
"Once I figured out what was wrong and why, it was so much easier to start to work out potential changes."
Prioritising the future - even when the present is really busy.
When you have very little time to focus on designing your future, you have to make sure you have a proven methodology that you can trust. So that every half an hour you invest is another step closer to increasing your joy-at-work.
Dara prioritised what little free time he had by working through each of the challenges in The Fierce Emporium - one by one.
In the early weeks, each challenge (which took about half an hour each) offered him an extra insight, a new understanding or a different perspective.
Analysis, then skills, then experimentation, then design.
But the two weeks that Lucia called "career design skills weeks" were the most transformative.
Dara discovered that he needed to invest time learning new skills.
He realised that he also needed to somehow play with bringing his unused-yet-plentiful creative juices into his daily life.
He started beyond his work-life by combining one of his personal health goals with a fitness challenge, and by blogging about his journey.
He invested time doing small experiments to change the way he felt about stepping out of his familiar ways of operating, so that when he decided to make bigger change, he would be ready.
"I particularly liked the personal interactions with Lucia, either to help me find what she calls my "Superpowers", to give me nudges to keep my focus or to suggest different ideas to try."
Joyful experimentation
Work continued to frustrate him.
He changed what he could.
And beyond the day-job, he expanded his network - in ways that felt right for him.
A love of teaching finance to non-financially-minded people meant that he began to joyfully, experimentally offer this Superpower up for free to friends who ran small businesses.
And he created and gave talks in the sales teams that were very well received. He really enjoyed those conversations and felt appreciated for the value he offered.
And he did this so lightly.
The big bang
Sometimes one conversation can become the necessary pattern disruptor. That blows open different potential solutions to the big shared problem. That then opens up a new way of thinking about our own problem. Dara initiated a conversation that changed not only his career happiness potential - but all of the board’s career happiness potential.
Then one day, during a very testy board meeting, following the worst financial performance in the company's history, the owner of the company asked Dara a very clear and direct question:
"What do you think?"
Dara knew intimately what was wrong - he was tired of dancing around it.
It was time for a bit of first step bravery.
Dara took a deep breath - filled with knowing that he had reached his now-or-never moment.
And he confidently, truthfully and kindly (as was his personality) articulated exactly what he believed was wrong, and right.
And he shared what he knew needed to happen in order to turn the company around.
He spoke from the heart and he felt vulnerable yet also powerful.
Silence.
From the owner and the CEO.
His message had sunk in.
Within moments, the others in the meeting reciprocated by opening up powerfully and vulnerably themselves.
It was emotional.
And cathartic.
And exactly the pattern disruptor they all needed.
They hadn't been on the same page for years. And now, because of Dara, they had an opportunity to create their best next page…together.
The turnaround
The company wouldn't survive in its current state.
Drastic measures were designed. And implemented. Together.
Not without pain, they turned around the business from a substantial loss-making situation to achieving a very healthy profit each month. Over time.
The turnaround was so successful they engineered a sale of the restructured business. A win-win outcome for everyone.
Win-win outcomes
Dara's ultimate win was an exit package - that offers him the opportunity to take some time to put his fresh career design knowledge into action - without the long hours, without the fatigue and without the endless, necessary questions pointed at the CFO during a sale process.
The work future has an air of Fierce about it.
And some final words from Dara.
"I now know what I do uniquely well - thank you. I understand what was wrong - thank you. When you know these two things, you can then start to form a plan of action to make the right sort of change happen."
If you liked this article - you might also like these:
I don’t know what I want - but I know for sure that I don’t want this! (Saoirse’s story)
Two years ago, I thought I’d finally cracked it (Joanne’s story)
Reached your now-or-never moment? What to do now…
Check out The Fierce Emporium - where Dara got the help that he needed to connect the dots and design a great exit plan.
Or if you’d like more personalised career design help - have a gander at The Personalised Redesign.
