Bernadette Dancy
How to Stop "Cracking On" Before You Burn Out with Bernadette Dancy
Bernadette Dancy is a Stress Management Coach and Public Speaker with over 15 years of experience studying human health, psychology, and performance. She specializes in helping individuals recover from chronic stress, burnout, and overwhelm through personalized coaching and lifestyle interventions like diet, exercise, sleep, and self-care. Believing we are living through a “stress crisis”, Bernadette emphasizes that stress isn’t a weakness—it’s something we can harness for better health.
Stress is everywhere, and for many of us, our default response is to just crack on and keep going. But that mindset doesn’t work forever—eventually, burnout catches up.
In this episode, I talk with stress management coach Bernadette Dancy about why we need to stop glorifying overwork and start building sustainable ways to thrive. Bernie shares practical, science-backed techniques to help midlife professionals reduce stress, regain energy, and set boundaries—without quitting your job or making drastic changes.
Key Takeaways from This Episode:
✔ Why stress is officially a global health crisis (and why it’s getting worse)
✔ The ABC Framework for real stress relief
✔ Why exercise doesn’t have to mean the gym—movement is key
✔ How better sleep, boundaries, and reducing alcohol can transform your energy
✔ The hidden role of caffeine and carbs in burnout recovery
✔ Why dealing with stress isn’t just about habits—it’s about your beliefs
Your Stress Recovery Action Plan (ABC Framework):
A: Activity – Move more, even if it’s just stretching or walking. More movement = better mental and physical health.
B: Boundaries, Bedtime & Booze – Protect your time, get proper rest, and avoid alcohol as a coping mechanism.
C: Caffeine & Carbs – Be mindful of overusing caffeine and make sure you’re getting enough real energy from food.
Final Thought: Small adjustments lead to big relief. You don’t have to overhaul your life—just start with one positive change today.
If you enjoyed this, you might also enjoy my Life Satisfaction Assessment. It's a 30-minute program where I guide you through a deep dive into 10 areas of your life to assess what's bringing you joy and what's bringing you down. I call it Derailed and it's a fabulous place to begin a joy-at-work redesign.
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How to Stop "Cracking On" Before You Burn Out with Bernadette Dancy
[00:00:00] Introduction: Why "Cracking On" Isn’t a Long-Term Strategy
Lucia Knight: Stress is the health epidemic of the 21st century, says the World Health Organization. My next guest and I wholeheartedly agree. Our generation's reaction to stress appears to be to just crack on. But unless you have superhuman reserves of energy, at some point just cracking on isn't a smart strategy for thriving at work nor thriving in life.
[00:00:30] Meet Bernadette Dancy: Stress Management Coach
Lucia Knight: Bernadette Dancy, Bernie to her friends, has been a stress management coach and consultant for eight years, and she has some brilliant, clever and practical ideas on how to stop just cracking on until we break. She shares instead insights into how companies, and we as individuals, can train ourselves how to perform optimally without burning it out.
She talks about where to start if indeed you are feeling like you're burning out and she gives some really practical ideas that you, your colleagues and your bosses could discuss to help everyone around you thrive at work. Let's dive in.
I've heard you say that we're living in a time that can be described as a stress crisis. Tell me more.
[00:01:30] The Stress Crisis: Why Burnout Is on the Rise
Bernadette Dancy: Yeah, unfortunately, I have said that. I've been known to say that. But it doesn't just come from me, it comes from the World Health Organization.
They were the first to say this. And what they really were saying was that stress is the health epidemic of the 21st century, it's terrifying to think about and it's almost unbelievable.
And that's worrying. We're just seeing this rise in this pattern where people are struggling a lot more in society.
And it breaks my heart because often they're in caring roles, they're people who are working incredibly hard and the number of people are burnt out. But the sad part about that is they just crack on.
We tend to see this approach in society where people are almost resigned to it, they're almost like, what else can we do? We just have to crack on.
Lucia Knight: So cracking on, that is what our generation seems to be doing. We seem to have grown up with this ability to crack on and dig deep, but what can we midlife professionals do rather than just cracking on and keep going until we break?
Bernadette Dancy: I think we've got to look at what we mean by cracking on.
If we're cracking on in a way that's not changing anything, that we're just continuing the narrative that we're pushing without rest and recovery, that we're burning the candle at both ends, and we're pushing ourselves into burnout, then we need to address that.
But cracking on can be reframed. So cracking on can mean, what is it we can do to change that narrative? We can crack on in a more adaptive way. So we can go, okay, we're recognizing that we are struggling. So if we're going to crack on, we need to think about how do we do things differently. It's no point in doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
[00:03:06] Why Companies Need to Rethink Stress Culture
Bernadette Dancy: And I think we can crack on from two perspectives. I think it has to be from an individual perspective and it has to be from an organizational perspective, especially when it comes to looking at the degree to which workplace stress is affecting individuals. So from an organizational perspective, I think cracking on can't mean blindly just keep pushing people because A, it's costing money.
If somebody's signed off sick, you've got to get their replacement. You've got to pay them sick pay. So it's a significant amount of revenue and economic impact on organizations. But we need a culture shift. If you want people to perform optimally, we can't keep running them into the ground and then losing good people.
So therefore CEOs, line managers, middle managers, we have to start looking at ourselves and say, how do we help people perform optimally? Because this isn't working. So it's about a culture shift from a top down approach. So we've got to start , in organization thinking about optimal performance is possible without burning out. And it can be done.
[00:04:06] What You Can Control When You Can’t Change the Workplace
Bernadette Dancy: And then from an individual perspective, we've got to start looking at ourselves and thinking about how are we showing up, how are we looking after ourselves to get to that door, to get to the office door, to get to the laptop, to get to the desk, because energy is finite, we can't just keep pushing ourselves.
And so I think taking that look at ourselves and going, okay, I can't change the demands. I can't necessarily change the culture. But I have got control over me, and that's really empowering, I think.
Lucia Knight: lovely. And that's where I want to go next. I want to go a bit more practical, yes? So when we're talking about the individual, if someone is listening and everything you've said resonates, can you share a few, three or four very practical ideas that they might be able to do today or this week that will reduce or have a positive impact on their stress feelings?
[00:04:59] The ABC Framework for Reducing Stress
Bernadette Dancy: Absolutely, I think simplicity is key. So if that's them, if they're listening, the first point is get burnout first aid, which is tell somebody about how you're feeling because we tend to keep it to ourselves and we crack on while everybody's feeling like that, right?
But. Acknowledging is a problem. Telling somebody is the first step. That could be a friend, it could be a partner, it could be a colleague you trust, but it could be, and most importantly, it should be potentially a GP or maybe a therapist.
And the reason I say that is because when someone is overwhelmed, we're working in a place of irrational thought. It's very hard to make logical, rational decisions about the support you need when you're on fire. You're not going to be able to do that. So we need to go to somebody who can be one step removed in a logical, rational brain and can give you advice.
And the next step is really to action that advice.
Now the next steps are, I always like to take an ABC approach because it's easy for people to remember.
Number one is start looking at your levels of activity.
When people are stressed and burnt out, they get chained to their laptop and their desk. Because our tendency is to think, I'm tired, I've got such a long to do list, I need to work harder, I can't stop, I have to do this. I'm really busy.
I have to crack on. And so we sacrifice movement, but movement is the fundamental component of our mental health, of our metabolic health, of our endocrine health, of our hormones. And I'm not talking about exercise. I'm talking about ambulatory step count. I'm talking about stretching or talk about moving.
So A is for get active. Don't sacrifice your mental health and physical health for the desk. The more you move, the more you're going to feel better.
B is to look at bedtime. So the other end of the spectrum, if you're moving more, how are you getting that rest and recovery? So look at your bedtime, look at your routine and look at your sleep quality. Typically people are stressed and burnt out. They're not getting that recovery.
The other B, there's a couple of Bs in here, is boundaries. And I know you've talked a lot about this in the podcast. Great episode. I definitely recommend people go back and tune in. Often people are stressed and overwhelmed and burnt out. They've got very poor boundaries. and struggle to say no and struggle to protect their energy. So looking at their own boundaries, where are you giving your energy?
There's a great quote from the book The Alchemist and it says when you say yes to others, make sure that you're not saying no to you. And it's a great line. It's every time you say yes to someone, is that a no to me? And if it's a no to me, then I need to put a boundary in there.
Lucia Knight: Love it.
Bernadette Dancy: The last one in the B's is booze. We all like to have a little tipple, especially if we're struggling, maybe if we're finding that we're tired or exhausted. But again it's actually going to help contribute towards the stress and not the recovery aspect of it.
So looking at where we're coping, if we're finding we're leaning towards faulty coping strategies like that, it's a good simple adjustment to try and cut back and get more energy back.
So that's A, that's B, and the last one is C is carbs and caffeine. This is one that people really struggle with because caffeine is often used as a replacement for energy.
So a practical solution is to reflect on the amount of caffeine. If you're overwhelmed, on the path to chronic stress and burnout, you may find you're leaning on caffeine to get that energy to help you to focus. But actually it's really going to be taking away from you getting real energy from food and sleep.
So if you're masking or if you're surviving on caffeine, it's a little red flag around maybe I need to make some adjustments where I get my energy from.
And then the second part of that is, unfortunately, carbohydrate intake. We give it such a bad press, especially in women, but we've got to remember carbohydrate is an energy source. And it's actually the main energy source for our brain. So if we're noticing that we're finding ourselves tired and exhausted, it'll reflect, am I getting enough carbohydrate into my diet? Because actually, if you've cut back on that, you're going to be making the whole problem worse.
So those are the kind of A, B, Cs. If as soon as we are, noticing, that we are struggling. These are the things that small tiny adjustments within those areas can bring back energy which brings us back online.
[00:09:16] The Deeper Work: What Drives Your Burnout?
Bernadette Dancy: Now the very last thing I'll say is start to then do the real work because that's just opening the door.
You have to start working with maybe a coach or a therapist or start to reflect on what got you to that place. Because the real work really is, what changes do I need to make to my beliefs about myself, my work ethic, the amount of money I want to earn, because they're the real drivers in how you got to that place.
Because they will have impacted your boundaries, and they'll have impacted maybe, how much you're willing to take on to please other people. And quite often that requires just a bit more deeper exploration. And often, therapy can be a great healer for those things because then we're able to go forward and actually carry out those boundaries that we put in place.
Lucia Knight: If you enjoyed this, you might also enjoy my Life Satisfaction Assessment. It's a 30 minute program where I guide you through a deep dive into 10 areas of your life to assess what's bringing you joy and what's bringing you down. I call it Derailed. It's a fabulous place to begin a joy at work redesign.
